Goodnight Midnight Radio Show

Once again, your vox-casters turn on of their own accord and the voice of Singing Barnett begins to speak, serenaded by a jaunty jingle.

‘Howdie there, to all y’all in Midnight Town, this, as usual, is your Goodnight Midnight radio program. Our unlucky numbers today are 6, 5 and 1.

Reports of strange, wychy phenomena have slowed down considerably this evenin’, indicatin’ that whatever caused it is over. Or at least, for now. In my humble opinion, dear listener, these things are never a one-off.

In potentially unrelated news, Miss Helia and several of the girls from her Orphanage were seen carrying large boxes to an unknown location in Inner Town. It seems that the orphanage mistress has been more active in town affairs of late, but what she is doin’ and what she wants is anyone’s guess.

As always, your host, Singing Barnett, signin’ off with some classic tunes.’

For the next few hours, or until you turn off your vox, the feed proceeds to play old-timey frontier music, before abruptly going dead at 3am.

Once again, your vox-casters turn on of their own accord and the voice of Singing Barnett begins to speak, serenaded by a jaunty jingle.

‘Howdie there, to all y’all in Midnight Town, this, as usual, is your Goodnight Midnight radio program. Our unlucky numbers today are still 6, 5 and 1.

In today’s news, we are happy to tell you all that the Sisterhood are reportin’ a marked drop in new cases of the cancerous plague that has been assailin’ Midnight Town this last week. No cure has been found yet for existin’ cases, but at least we can breathe a sigh of relief that the worst has probably passed.

Unfortunately, there has been an increase in violent crime in Midnight Town, raisin’ the ire of new councillor Leo Smith, who campaigned on an anti-crime platform. Random acts of violence in the dead of night, often unaccompanied by any attempt to rob the victim or do more than simply frighten them have become a common phenomenon that locals are strugglin’ to explain. Smith has vowed that any perpetrator caught engagin’ in this new hobby-crime trend can expect to be executed.

As always, your host, Singing Barnett, signin’ off with some classic tunes.’

For the next few hours, or until you turn off your vox, the feed proceeds to play old-timey frontier music, before abruptly going dead at 3am.

Once again, your vox-casters turn on of their own accord and the voice of Singing Barnett begins to speak, serenaded by a jaunty jingle.

‘Howdie there, to all y’all in Midnight Town, this, as usual, is your Goodnight Midnight radio program. Our unlucky numbers today are still 15, 8 and -2.

Some sad news tonight. It appears that Arthur Emiriti, of Midnight Town’s own Emiriti cartel, has ended his own life tonight. This has thrown his family into chaos, with many factions launchin’ direct but uncoordinated attacks against the Parnassus family, and others devolvin’ into in-fightin’ to take control of the business. What motivated this young businessman to end it all, and who will be the new leader of the family, or whether there even will be a family when the smoke clears, is unclear.

More reports of strange phenomena abound in Midnight Town tonight. At exactly 19:55, everyone who was sleepin’ woke up, and all who were awake had a strange feelin’, like a million voices cried out at once and were suddenly silenced. What was it? What does it mean?

You decide, dear listener.

As always, your host, Singing Barnett, signin’ off with some classic tunes.’

For the next few hours, or until you turn off your vox, the feed proceeds to play old-timey frontier music, before abruptly going dead at 3am.

Once again, your vox-casters turn on of their own accord and the voice of Singing Barnett begins to speak, serenaded by a jaunty jingle.

‘Howdie there, to all y’all in Midnight Town, this, as usual, is your Goodnight Midnight radio program. Our unlucky numbers today are still 18, 9 and -3.

More ‘sad’ news tonight. Former Councillor Paula Mendes passed away in her sleep last night, havin’ served the town for 52 looooong years. Mendes was known as a patient and calmin’ force on Midnight Town, always ready and willin’ to settle disputes. Her replacement has a lot to live up to, that’s for sure.

In other news, there have been reports of riots breakin’ out in protest against what is believed to be tainted meat from the Grox Farms. One store still sellin’ the produce was torn apart by an angry mob, repeatin’ the slogan ‘meat is deceit’ over and over again, like some kinda mad mantra. Several people were injured in the attack, and many more have been rattled by it.

As always, your host, Singing Barnett, signin’ off with some classic tunes.’

For the next few hours, or until you turn off your vox, the feed proceeds to play old-timey frontier music, before abruptly going dead at 3am.

Once again, your vox-casters turn on of their own accord and the voice of Singing Barnett begins to speak, serenaded by a jaunty jingle.

‘Howdie there, to all y’all in Midnight Town, this, as usual, is your Goodnight Midnight radio program. Our unlucky numbers today are 12, 7 and -1.

Some good news for once: it appears that mutant attacks on the Vigil and the surface have dropped dramatically, with the mutant hordes becomin’ much less organised and aggressive. The reasons behind this change in behaviour are unclear, but hey, never look a gift horse in the mouth.

In other news, Councillor Margaret Walker has broken from official council policy and begun to directly promote the Church of Divine Grace. Midnight Town is doomed, she has told her constituents, and if they wish to be safe they must give up all earthly concerns and join their brothers and sisters at the Church’s compound. Her doomsayin’ is said to be stirrin’ up a lot of problems, but is provin’ quite effective…

As always, your host, Singing Barnett, signin’ off with some classic tunes.’

For the next few hours, or until you turn off your vox, the feed proceeds to play old-timey frontier music, before abruptly going dead at 3am.

Once again, your vox-casters turn on of their own accord and the voice of Singing Barnett begins to speak, serenaded by a jaunty jingle.

‘Howdie there, to all y’all in Midnight Town, this, as usual, is your Goodnight Midnight radio program. Our unlucky numbers today are still 3, 0.

There has been a terrible fire on the edge of Inner Town this evenin’, with Sparkie’s Print Shop being the centre of the blaze. The owner, Jonathon Sparkie, had apparently been dealing with a large order when someone sent a van filled with promethium crashin’ into the front of the store, killin’ everyone inside. The perpetrator of this terrible deed has yet to be located.

In other bad news, Councillor Ricky Carter… is missing. After the murder of Councillor Lonesome Daniels earlier this month, the Council are treatin’ the matter as connected, and implore anyone with information as to Carter’s whereabouts to come forwards.

As always, your host, Singing Barnett, signin’ off with some classic tunes.’

For the next few hours, or until you turn off your vox, the feed proceeds to play old-timey frontier music, before abruptly going dead at 3am.

Once again, your vox-casters turn on of their own accord and the voice of Singing Barnett begins to speak, serenaded by a jaunty jingle.

‘Howdie there, to all y’all in Midnight Town, this, as usual, is your Goodnight Midnight radio program. Our unlucky numbers today are still 18, 11, -7.

It appears that the same anonymous rabble rouser who inspired Midnight Town to riot against the strange new quality of the meat from the Grox Farms is at it again – this time turnin’ the town’s ire to the Church of Divine Grace. An anonymous letter in the Midnight Writer implicitly accused the Church of occult practices and effectively kidnappin’ its members from their families. Strong words.

Councillor Margaret Walker has strengthened her own propaganda activities, stressin’ that the Church of Divine Grace is an entirely voluntary cult. For all its strangeness the Church at least has stones the show its face and take the consequences of criticism head on, unlike the mysterious anonymous rabble rouser. Walker has condemned the letter writer as a coward and a conspiracy theorist to be shunned and ignored.

As always, your host, Singing Barnett, signin’ off with some classic tunes.’

For the next few hours, or until you turn off your vox, the feed proceeds to play old-timey frontier music, before abruptly going dead at 3am.

Once again, your vox-casters turn on of their own accord and the voice of Singing Barnett begins to speak, serenaded by a jaunty jingle.

‘Howdie there, to all y’all in Midnight Town, this, as usual, is your Goodnight Midnight radio program. Our unlucky numbers today are 36, 13, -5.

We have an update on yesterday’s story, dear listener, about the fire at Sparkie’s print shop. A mysterious and ‘creepy’ lookin’ feral mutant was arrested today on charges of assistin’ in arson, and is believed to have been an accomplice to the mastermind behind the attack: an elderly feral preacher by the name of Morbius. In what officials are callin’ an implicit admission of guilt, the mutant took its own life while in custody rather than face official justice. Hey, saves bullets.

Councillor Margaret Walker is askin’ for all those who have information as to Morbius’ whereabouts to come forward. She states that she has also received reports that the man has been accused of mutant-sympathising and treachery by a prominent member of the Church of St Moriartus. He should be treated as armed and extremely dangerous.

In other news, after a sharp drop-off in the number of new plague victims, incidents of new infection are back on the rise. The Sisterhood are said to be baffled by this development, and once again ask anyone infected to attend their surgery for examination. As yet, no cure for this plague has been found.

People’s spirits are being lifted a little by the efforts of Sister Judicia, who has formed her own Sisters Palliativa unit with some of the members of the Sisters of Our Lady Theresa and other women from Midnight Town. Together, they ensure that the sick get to the Surgery with a kind word and a prayer to help them on their way.

Lovely.

As always, your host, Singing Barnett, signin’ off with some classic tunes.’

For the next few hours, or until you turn off your vox, the feed proceeds to play old-timey frontier music, before abruptly going dead at 3am.

Once again, your vox-casters turn on of their own accord and the voice of Singing Barnett begins to speak, serenaded by a jaunty jingle.

‘Howdie there, to all y’all in Midnight Town, this, as usual, is your Goodnight Midnight radio program. Our lucky numbers today are 10, 7 and 3. It's been a while since we've had some luck, hasn't it?

Our top story tonight is that there is now an all-out gang war in Midnight Town - but not involving the Parnassus family for once. Senior members of the Emeriti family are outright tearin' each other apart, with the family breakin' into factions and opening fire on each in broad daylight to reclaim territory from each other. There have been some calls for the Parnassus family to get involved to bring a swift end to the fightin'.

Our subsidiary story for the evening is a message from the Sisterhood: a call for me to stop with my fear-mongerin' over what is likely to be an ordinary fluctuation in new plague victims. Well, I'm just pointin' out the truth, Sister Superior. No crime in that. The people deserve to know! And that's what we do here.

Speakin' of which, I've heard rumours that Councillor Leo Smith, one of our new Councillors, might be infected. Rough justice, huh?

As always, your host, Singing Barnett, signin’ off with some classic tunes.’

For the next few hours, or until you turn off your vox, the feed proceeds to play old-timey frontier music, before abruptly going dead at 3am.

Once again, your vox-casters turn on of their own accord and the voice of Singing Barnett begins to speak, serenaded by a jaunty jingle.

‘Howdie there, to all y’all in Midnight Town, this, as usual, is your Goodnight Midnight radio program. Our lucky numbers today are 5, 6, 4.

There have been more reports throughout town of strange and violent behaviour against the good God-fearin’ folk of this town which don’t seem to have a rhyme or reason behind ‘em. The perpetrators are mostly said to be victims of this mysterious plague that is sweepin’ the town, but whether that is reactionary propaganda or the word or truth, I cannot tell you loyal listeners.

Another unconfirmed rumour is that members of the Parnassus family have been seen meetin’ with members of the Emeriti family today, on seemin’ly civil terms. Which of the factions of the Emeriti family are considerin’ alliance with their long-time enemies, and what this might mean for Midnight Town, is unclear.

As always, your host, Singing Barnett, signin’ off with some classic tunes.’

For the next few hours, or until you turn off your vox, the feed proceeds to play old-timey frontier music, before abruptly going dead at 3am.

Once again, your vox-casters turn on of their own accord and the voice of Singing Barnett begins to speak, serenaded by a jaunty jingle.

‘Howdie there, to all y’all in Midnight Town, this, as usual, is your Goodnight Midnight radio program. Our unlucky numbers today are 4, 5 and 3.

In today’s news: Chirurgeon Santos has issued a statement condemnin’ the Church of Divine Grace and calling on the leadership of the Town (both spiritual and political) to do more to bring worshippers back to Midnight Town. He has labelled the Church a ‘dangerous cult of personality’ led by a ‘criminal and likely heretic’. If somethin’ is not done soon, he believes that we are likely to have a catastrophe on our hands. Strong words from the good Chirurgeon there. His calls for action have been echoed by the Sisters of Lady Theresa and the front pages of the Midnight Writer, and there is said to be substantial pressure on the Church of St Moriartus to also condemn the cult. So far, that pressure has been resisted.

Violence continues to rise in Midnight Town as three quarters of the Vigil Hunters Guild near-simultaneously came down with the plague over the course of last night and today. Many of the Hunters have already advanced to the final, maddened and fatal stages of the illness, and have been carryin’ out random attacks on the citizenry of Midnight Town. The Imperial Guard have begun making patrols in Outer Town to curb the violence, and people are advised to stay in their homes and avoid contact with anyone showin’ symptoms of the plague.

As always, your host, Singing Barnett, signin’ off with some classic tunes.’

For the next few hours, or until you turn off your vox, the feed proceeds to play old-timey frontier music, before abruptly going dead at 3am.

Once again, your vox-casters turn on of their own accord and the voice of Singing Barnett begins to speak, serenaded by a jaunty jingle.

‘Howdie there, to all y’all in Midnight Town, this, as usual, is your Goodnight Midnight radio program. Our unlucky numbers today are 15, 8 and -2.

Well, well, well. This has been a day. The Sisters of Our Lady Theresa announced early this mornin’ that they had found a cure for the plague, causin’ everyone to gather up in the outskirts of Midnight Town where Sister Judicia’s make-shift Palliativa unit had been operatin’. What resulted was a chaos of blood, screamin’, riotin’, fleein’ and folks barricadin’ their homes as military patrols increased.

The official story is that Sister Superior Norma was actually responsible for makin’ the plague, and upon bein’ discovered she tried to lure people in with the promise of a cure to poison all the sick and enact a cover-up. This scheme was blown open by Sister Senior Serenity, who stopped the purge and brought justice to the treacherous Norma. Very bloody justice. Sister Serenity has taken her predecessor’s place as the leader of the Sisterhood in Midnight Town, and promises to purge any within her order who knew of or helped in Norma’s heretical beliefs.

It’s pretty neat and tidy, ain’t it? Personally, I never like a tidy story: reality isn’t somethin’ you can tie up in a bow and serve up for Emperor’s Day. Its messy, with fuzzy lines around the edges and a whole lot a crap in the middle. So, stay sharp, loyal listeners, and keep your eyes peeled for that fuzz.
The Mechanicus apparently intend to make a statement on the matter tomorrow, which should be interestin’ given that the Sisterhood implicitly placed the blame for the plague on their bald metal heads. Only time will tell what this all means…

As always, your host, Singing Barnett, signin’ off with some classic tunes.’

For the next few hours, or until you turn off your vox, the feed proceeds to play old-timey frontier music, before abruptly going dead at 3am.

Once again, your vox-casters turn on of their own accord and the voice of Singing Barnett begins to speak, serenaded by a jaunty jingle.

‘Howdie there, to all y’all in Midnight Town, this, as usual, is your Goodnight Midnight radio program. Our unlucky numbers today are 3, 4 and 2. Slow down there, tiger.

In today’s segment on missing…things, almost every single councillor in Midnight Town…’

He pauses dramatically.

‘…is missing. After attendin’ a dinner at the Church of St Moriartus, all of the councillors save for Margaret Walker, Leo Smith (who both did not attend) and Diana Lewis (who is still on holiday) were apparently drugged and kidnapped. Where they have gone and who is responsible is unclear, but eyewitnesses reported seeing a truck driving away from the scene and towards the outskirts of town, and was later found near the Church in flames. Coincidence? Who knows. Two Acolytes of the Church, Acolyte Emily and Mother Kalene, were murdered in the kidnappin’ plot. All other Acolytes were left unconscious, but unharmed.

The Mechanicus have made their statement on the plague, as promised. They have officially accused Sister Superior Serenity of heresy and potential treason against the Omnissiah, and demanded that she submit to a trial. The Church of St Moriartus has agreed to officiate over the trial, with Father Patrick as judge. The Sisterhood have yet to respond to the accusations or the demand. This should be interestin’.

In other news, rumours are going about that the plague spreads though the hearin’ of the mad ramblin’ of the sick. Let’s hope I never get sick, loyal listeners. Or you are all fucked! Haha, only jokin’. We’ll be fine.

As always, your host, Singing Barnett, signin’ off with some classic tunes.’

For the next few hours, or until you turn off your vox, the feed proceeds to play old-timey frontier music, before abruptly going dead at 3am.

Once again, your vox-casters turn on of their own accord and the voice of Singing Barnett begins to speak, serenaded by a jaunty jingle.

‘Howdie there, to all y’all in Midnight Town, this, as usual, is your Goodnight Midnight radio program. Our unlucky numbers today are 3 and 0.

Good news everyone! Ahem. The Sisters of Our Lady Theresa have discovered a cure for the plague. The response has been tentative, what with the organisation’s prior attempt to murder the populace. However, there have been some takers who have reported a complete and instantaneous end to the plague’s mental symptoms, and a slow withdrawal of its physical symptoms. Some in the early stages of infection have reported being completely cured after only a day. The reports of success mean that people are quickly overcomin’ their distrust and flockin’ to the solution.

Interestin’ly, the Sisters have presented not just one, but two cures. The first is a long and arduous process of flagellation and penance, which they report to be the purest cure, and a true chance for salvation. The second is an injection to be taken daily, which has the effects I just described and even inoculates against reinfection as long as it is taken. Naturally, few people are going for option 1. Stings my heart a little – the easy road doesn’t necessarily lead to where you want to go, I’ve always told you that, loyal listeners. Ah well.

In light of their upsurge in popularity for potentially saving the Town, the Sisters have responded to calls to put the Sister Superior on trial with contempt. They say the Mechanicus have no jurisdiction over matters of the Holy Creed of the Ecclesiarchy, and if the Church of St Moriartus want to flex their own jurisdiction, they should stop ‘volunteerin’ their services’ to the Mechanicus and demand a trial on their own authority, without the involvement of Mars. Personally, I’m all in favour, the leadership of the Church of St Moriartus seems to have had difficulty in the ‘growin’ a pair’ department since…well. We don’t talk about that, do we.

Interestingly, the Sisters are said not to be alone in their efforts to cure the plague. They are reported to be workin’ in tandem with an elderly, charismatic and heavily scarred gentleman with a wooden leg, who is overseein’ the ‘penance cure’ while the Sisters administer the medical one.

In other news, the Imperial Guard and Navy have ceased their patrols around Midnight Town, and have signed a deal with what remains of the Council to have no further involvement in law and order of the Town. Margaret Walker, the Councillor who brokered the deal, declared herself Acting Mayor this mornin’ after the disappearance of the rest of the council. In conjunction with Councillor Leo Smith, she has created a series of brute sq- ah, I mean, law enforcement divisions to uphold order on the streets. I have to say, I applaud her efficiency…finding that many trained, willing and obedient fighters overnight is… quite somethin’.

As always, your host, Singing Barnett, signin’ off with some classic tunes.’

For the next few hours, or until you turn off your vox, the feed proceeds to play old-timey frontier music, before abruptly going dead at 3am.

Once again, your vox-casters turn on of their own accord and the voice of Singing Barnett begins to speak, serenaded by a jaunty jingle.

‘Howdie there, to all y’all in Midnight Town, this, as usual, is your Goodnight Midnight radio program. Our unlucky numbers today are 16, 10, and -6.

Midnight Town has had an unfortunate recurrence of strange psychic phenomena, with candles sputterin’ out, grox and chickens getting’ spooked for no reason and blood runnin’ from the walls in people’s livin’ rooms. Let’s hope this is just another limited incident, and doesn’t get any worse.

In other news, the Imperial Navy have apparently cut off all communication with the Imperial Guard, and have entirely ceased their efforts in recallin’ their crew from shore leave. The reason for this sudden shyness is unclear, and with all the other problems in this town, fills me with a feelin’ of dark forebodin’.

At least we have some good news. Uptakes in the cure for the plague have shot up now that people have overcome their distrust, and reports are that the cure works: stoppin’ the disease in its tracks and causin’ the physical symptoms to melt away. Is this finally the ray of sunshine at the end of the tunnel? Or just the eye of the storm?

As always, time will tell.

As always, your host, Singing Barnett, signin’ off with some classic tunes.’

For the next few hours, or until you turn off your vox, the feed proceeds to play old-timey frontier music, before abruptly going dead at 3am.

Once again, your vox-casters turn on of their own accord and the voice of Singing Barnett begins to speak, serenaded by a jaunty jingle.

'Howdie there, to all y'all in Midnight Town. This, as usual, is your Goodnight Midnight radio program. Our unlucky numbers today are 18, 11 and -7.

Its been a quiet day, though there are reports of a large shipment of weaponry being sold to the Church of Divine Grace by one of the warring factions of the Emeriti. It seems somethin' has them spooked, and they are preparin' for it. Good luck to them, I guess.

As always, your host, Singing Barnett, signin' off with some classic tunes.'

For the next few hours, or until you turn off the vox, the feed proceeds to play old timey frontier music. It abruptly goes dead at 3am.

Once again, your vox-casters turn on of their own accord and the voice of Singing Barnett begins to speak, serenaded by a jaunty jingle.

‘Howdie there, to all y’all in Midnight Town, this, as usual, is your Goodnight Midnight radio program. Our unlucky numbers today are 7, 8 and -6.

After our recent report that a large delivery of guns was made to the Church of Divine Grace, we can now report that they have clearly been usin’ ‘em. The sound of hundreds of people openin’ fire was heard comin’ from the Church compound. An internal fight, or an external invasion? Who knows.
As always, your host, Singing Barnett, signin’ off with some classic tunes.’

For the next few hours, or until you turn off your vox, the feed proceeds to play old-timey frontier music, before abruptly going dead at 3am.

Once again, your vox-casters turn on of their own accord and the voice of Singing Barnett begins to speak. The jingle is absent.

‘Howdie there, to all y’all in Midnight Town, this, as usual, is your Goodnight Midnight radio program. Our unlucky numbers today are 6, 7 and -5. Gettin’ dangerous, folks.

More news on the degradin’ state of government in Midnight Town. Acting Mayor Margaret Walker has been assassinated on her way to the Church of Divine Grace Compound. Someone planted an explosive in her car, which detonated, killing her and all of her guards. The Town’s sole remainin’ councillor (save for Councillor Lewis, who is still…on holiday), Leo Smith, has declared himself actin’ mayor, a declaration which was followed by a slew of executions of criminals. Who would have thought his promotion prospects were so good?

Crazy things are startin’ to happen in Midnight Town, with the onslaught of psychic phenomena getting’ worse and worse by the day. People have started reporting dark shadows appearin’ where there should be none, and the sound of things clawing at the air and whisperin’ from the edge of their vision, as well as the usual nonsense of ice patches in the sun and blood runnin’ down the walls.

Is this the beginnin’ of the end? Who knows. In any case, we should raise a glass for those who have pre-deceased us, and hope that they reach the Emperor’s Light, somehow, some way. For now, it’s not the end of the world: it’s just the end of the day.

As always, your host, Singing Barnett. No tunes tonight: we here at Goodnight Midnight are mournin’ the death of yet another hero.’

The vox goes dead.

Once again, your vox-casters turn on of their own accord and the voice of Singing Barnett begins to speak, serenaded by a jaunty jingle.

‘Howdie there, to all y’all in Midnight Town, this, as usual, is your Goodnight Midnight radio program. Sorry about the late start, I was busy eating popcorn.

Our unlucky number today is 0. Welcome to end-game.

Our top story tonight is that the Church of Divine Grace is no more. After being condemned by the Sisterhood, the Church of St Moriartus, Acting Mayor Leo Smith and Chirurgeon Santos as heretics and daemon worshippers, a mob of flagellants charged out to destroy them. Witnesses report that the cult was engaged in a terrible, dark ritual to evil gods, apparently plannin’ to bring the Smiling Moon crashing into the earth, an event which would have surely wiped out all life on Aventine. Thankfully, this calamity was stopped by the efforts of the one-legged man and a mysterious paladin, who led the charge and exorcised the daemonic power behind the cult from this world.

In other news, in the light of all the calamitous events that have been occurring around Midnight Town of late, Emperor’s Day celebrations have been moved forwards a week, as has the weddin’ of Louise Patterson to General Harroway and the visit of the Governor of our lovely little planet to out lovely little town. Hopefully that will bring some joy and peace to the town.

I always loved weddings. Don’t you?

As always, your host, Singing Barnett, signin' off with some classic tunes.'

For the next few hours, or until you turn off the vox, the feed proceeds to an odd and crackly indie song on loop for three hours: ‘It’s the end of the world as we know it (and I feel fine)’. It abruptly goes dead at 3am.

Once again, your vox-casters turn on of their own accord and the voice of Singing Barnett begins to speak, serenaded by a jaunty jingle.

‘Howdie there, to all y’all in Midnight Town, this, as usual, is your Goodnight Midnight radio program.

Our unlucky number today is 0. Remember: it’s not the end of the day, it’s just the end of the world.

Meanwhile in Midnight Town, people are reportin’ finding flayed bodies throughout the Town, which started with some of the now expelled brute squads of the Church of Divine Grace, and has now spread to random citizens just tryin’ to get home. There are even reports of monsters lurkin’ around in the shadows, breakin’ out from beyond in the corner of people’s eyes…

Tensions are particularly high between the Imperial Guard and the Imperial Navy after the Navy opened fire on a squad of Guardsman approachin’ the hotel in which Admiral Fox and Vice-Admiral Wagner are reportedly stayin’. The reasons for the shoot-out are presently unknown.

As always, your host, Singing Barnett, signin' off with some classic tunes.'

For the next few hours, or until you turn off the vox, the feed proceeds to an odd and crackly indie song on loop for three hours: ‘It’s the end of the world as we know it (and I feel fine)’. It abruptly goes dead at 3am.

Once again, your vox-casters turn on of their own accord and the voice of Singing Barnett begins to speak, serenaded by a jaunty jingle.

‘Howdie there, to all y’all in Midnight Town, this, as usual, is your Goodnight Midnight radio program.

Our unlucky number today is 0. It’s not the end of the day, it’s just the end of the world.

Reports from across the world of Amaranthyne continue to roll in about strange warp phenomena and even daemonic incursions occurrin’. Nobody knows what the source of this planet-wide phenomenon is, but whatever it is, if not stopped soon it threatens to tear this world apart. And with the earthquakes that have been hittin’ major cities, I mean that literally.

In other news, the Parnassus family has announced a business merger with the faction of the Emeriti family headed by New York Emeriti. In a series of overnight blitz-kriegs, the Parnassus family has wiped out most of the other factions of the Emiriti family, taken control of the weapon supply, and re-opened up the gun store.

Good stuff, ‘cause we’ll be needin’ those guns, if this past week has been anythin’ to go by.

As always, your host, Singing Barnett, signin' off with some classic tunes.'

For the next few hours, or until you turn off the vox, the feed proceeds to an odd and crackly indie song on loop for three hours: ‘It’s the end of the world as we know it (and I feel fine)’. It abruptly goes dead at 3am.

Once again, your vox-casters turn on of their own accord and the voice of Singing Barnett begins to speak, serenaded by a jaunty jingle.

‘Howdie there, to all y’all in Midnight Town, this, as usual, is your Goodnight Midnight radio program.

Our unlucky number today is 0. It’s not the end of the day, it’s just the end of the world.
Things are getting’ quite bad in the greater Amaranthyne, with reports of daemons breaking through the void and attackin’ people in the streets. Rates of emergent psykers have shot up, addin’ to the chaos. Nevertheless, the Governor is still plannin’ to arrive tomorrow, partly to celebrate Emperor’s day, partly to investigate the first Town where all this weird stuff started happenin’.

Here’s prayin’ that things improve, ‘cause else we’re kinda fucked.

As always, your host, Singing Barnett, signin' off with some classic tunes.'

For the next few hours, or until you turn off the vox, the feed proceeds to an odd and crackly indie song on loop for three hours: ‘It’s the end of the world as we know it (and I feel fine)’. It abruptly goes dead at 3am.

Once again, your vox-casters turn on of their own accord and the voice of Singing Barnett begins to speak, serenaded by a jaunty jingle.

‘Howdie there, to all y’all in Midnight Town, this, as usual, is your Goodnight Midnight radio program.

Our unlucky number today is 0. It’s not the end of the day, it’s just the end of the world.

Almost as suddenly as it started, the incidents of psychic phenomena, psyker awakenin’s and daemonic incursions on Amaranthyne has stopped. No one knows the cause of the change, or whether it is likely to return. Personally, dear listeners, I have faith that the matter has been resolved once and for all.

In other news, tensions between the Navy and Imperial Guard have been abated with the death of Vice Admiral Wagner and the psychiatric internment of Admiral Fox. The Navy have begun returnin’ to the Emperor’s Wrath, and have issued reparations to the families of Guard personnel killed in recent days.

Details on what occurred to end the conflict are sketchy, but the military have issued a joint statement that Second Lieutenant Emmanuel Brigsby, Morbius Godsword (described as an elderly gentlemen with a peg leg), Grestus Witchbane (appearance unknown), and Ephrael of Ashwake (a tall figure in black robes), are traitors to the Imperium and should be killed on sight. Anyone caught assistin’ or interactin’ with them will themselves be guilty of treason.

Sister Superior Serenity has added to the calls that Morbius is a traitor, claimin’ that he used foul sorcery to disappear from the Surgery when she tried to implement Divine Justice upon him.

Scary stuff.

As always, your host, Singing Barnett, signin' off with some classic tunes.'

For the next few hours, or until you turn off the vox, the feed proceeds to an odd and crackly indie song on loop for three hours: ‘It’s the end of the world as we know it (and I feel fine)’. It abruptly goes dead at 3am.

Once again, your vox-casters turn on of their own accord and the voice of Singing Barnett begins to speak, serenaded by a jaunty jingle.

‘Howdie there, to all y’all in Midnight Town, this, as usual, is your Goodnight Midnight radio program.

Our unlucky number today is 0. It’s not the end of the day, it’s just the end of the world.

There has been an attack on the Surgery this afternoon, a suicide bombin’ attack by the hated traitor Ephrael. Many of the Sisterhood and their patients were killed in the attack, but Sister Superior Serenity survived, saved by a squad of Imperial Guard personnel sent to ensure that Morbius did not return to assail the buildin’. Thank the Emperor they were there.

The Governor is about to arrive into Midnight Town tomorrow mornin’. A delegation rode out to meet him this evenin’, mostly made up by the Sisterhood, but also includin’ General Harroway and Lady Patterson. Most of the Imperial Guard have been left behind to guard the Town, as the General trusts the Sisterhood to ensure that nothin’ untoward occurs on the journal there and back.

As always, your host, Singing Barnett, signin' off with some classic tunes.'

For the next few hours, or until you turn off the vox, the feed proceeds to an odd and crackly indie song on loop for three hours: ‘It’s the end of the world as we know it (and I feel fine)’. It abruptly goes dead at 3am.

Once again, your vox-casters turn on of their own accord and the voice of Singing Barnett begins to speak, serenaded by a jaunty jingle.

‘ Howdie there, to all y’all in Midnight Town, this, as usual, is your Goodnight Midnight radio program.

I have a confession to make, dear listeners. You know me as Singing Barnett, your friendly radio host and purveyor of fine-grained conspiracy and eclectic news. In truth, I am actually Singing Barnett, your former priest of the Church of St Moriartus and long-deceased purveyor of conspiratorial accusations and somewhat questionable life choices.

We’ve been assailed of late, dear listener, by the forces of darkness who have sought to bring this world to ruin. But don’t y’all worry, for the forces of the Ministorum sought to fight back with equal fervour, and have saved us all. The Emperor, in his infinite and occasionally unfathomable wisdom kept me here to keep those fightin’ the good fight informed, and now, the bad guys are thwarted and my watch has ended. It’s been a pleasure, but now it’s time for me to mosey on home.

My final message is on behalf of me and all the other soldiers of faith, going out to all who would seek to bring the Imperium to its knees:

We are still here, fuckers.

As always, and for the last time, your host, Singing Barnett, signin’ off with some classic tunes.'

For the next few hours, or until you turn off the vox, the feed proceeds to play old-timey frontier music for the next three hours. It abruptly goes dead at 3am.